Better and less better

Haven't posted due to being not so well.

Sometimes I get really depressed. It is so hard when I get a little better - I am suddenly well enough to know what it could be to not be so sick and yet, and yet, it is all still so out of reach.

Had to do parent teacher night and so ended up not well.

I read somewhere and I think it seems to be true for me, that I am much worse in the mornings than I am in the afternoons.

Reason for depression was just plain frustration. I walked all the way over to the new Creative Arts staffroom at college - wow it must be a couple of hundred meters, - sat down in a chair (instead of on the floor) when I got there, and then walked back. Admittedly it was after a full day at school. Then I helped a student for a while and did not sit in my good chair. End result - very low... just no energy when I got to school this morning. I was crying and Sylvia the lab assistant caught up to me as I was walking in to the staffroom like a person with cerebral palsy. She said I should have stayed home. but - I cry from frustration. I don't want to walk like that. I DON"T WANT TO HAVE TO PAY SOOO MUCH for expending a little extra energy the day before. ( I was at school from before 7.40 am to almost 5pm so it was a long day).

It is late now.


Got a funny message on my phone. Apparently they were testing my Dad's new phone, and they rang me up and left a message, just to make sure that the new phone worked!

By the way. Did you know? Shift Happens.

(love the music)