Hero

Just saw Janine Shepherd on TV on Talking Heads on the ABC. In my former life, she was one of my heros. She has had so much to deal with. So much difficulty and she has overcome so much.

I am back at work. Yes there was a break known as a holiday. I spent a lot of it unwell. Don't know particularly why. There were lots of great days but I think I am now sensitive to heat. Tonight seeing Janine actually had a strange effect. I feel so angry. She is such a great person but she could do something about what was wrong. She has done so great. But what can I do? I struggle and I work and feel like I live in some strange limbo. The funny thing is she ended with something that I really believe - being grateful.

If only I could fight to get better I would. All I can do be careful. Be disciplined - and be grateful.

Later: Have just been reading some of the horrendous advice handed out on medical websites for ME or CFS as some people persist in calling it. Am so grateful in my heart that my doctor was so kind and so understanding when he told me I had PVFS post viral fatigue syndrome. He has never made me feel I should exercise and I feel so angry when I see advice like on this kids health site.
Keep as active as possible??? NO NO NO. That is what Kay Gilderdale was told to do for her daughter - she made her exercise until she could walk no more... it was reading Lynn story of her early illness that made me much more accepting the limits I have.

So much to be grateful for - I have husband, children and grandchildren. All loving and kind. What more can I ask for?